We always want the best of the best, which is great, why should we settle for less? Whether it may be a degree, a job, a business or even a spouse.
Nowadays I see this trend when it comes to marriage, the crave to want the best of the best. But how is the ‘best’ defined? Is it a person’s loyalty? Humility? Integrity? No. It seems to be more and more about how educated they are, how much they earn, what car they drive etc. I’m not saying these things are not important, of course they are! But so are other things, purely basing a marriage on a few ticked boxes is almost as if we’re cheating ourselves.
Being smart is attractive, I totally agree, but if a marriage is struggling then a PhD in Fluid Dynamics isn’t going to fix it. I feel as if some people think being successful (whether it may be in terms of education or career) gives them the license to slack on other qualities such as simply being generous and humble. Being educated doesn’t necessarily make you better than another human being, a degree isn’t for everyone, everyone shines in their own way.
The kind of marriage I crave is what my parents have. They had the typical asian arranged marriage and believe it or not but they didn’t even see each other until the actual wedding day. Crazy right? Our generation have really got it so wrong, we see the person, we meet them and often get to know them, YET the divorce rate right now is higher than ever. The older generation were more loyal, they would stick by their partner through thick and thin and that was the norm. It didn’t matter if there was no spark or if the marriage was dead, you pull yourself together and get on with it.
Our generation is just a greedy generation. We want the best of the best and also think we deserve it. If a marriage isn’t working out, we think it’s best to leave as our happiness is may be elsewhere rather than stick around, be patient and make things work.
To be honest I don’t even know where I am going with this and to be honest these aren’t even blog posts, these are just my random thoughts that I save on my phone in the notes sections. There’s no layout, or particular topic, it’s just random thoughts.
Being a bengali educated asian girl the marriage pressure is there and of course my parents have high expectations, which parents don’t? But I know that the things that I crave are not something that can be defined on paper.
Think about your best friend, what qualities does he/she hold? This could be loyalty, integrity, understanding, could be so many different things and that’s exactly what you should seek.